Sunday, May 17, 2009

Little Soul by Oswald

Little Soul from R&R World on Vimeo.

I came across this video while on a Pregnancy Loss message board. We are currently going through our 4th ectopic pg. We found out we were pg on 4/17/09. We were overjoyed and scared to death since it has been almost 3 years since our last loss and 3 yrs of trying. Because I have had previous ectopic (in the tube) pregnancies I get to endure repeated blood tests every 2-3 days and multiple ultrasounds to see where the pregnancy is located. Unfortunately, we never saw anything on the u/s and decided to go ahead with Laparascopic surgery on 5/5/09 to see where the pg was. I gave my dr complete freedom on what to do when he got in there - keep the tube, remove the tube, repair the tube, etc. Since the pregnancy was in the tube and the tube was not enlarged or close to rupturing he left it alone and I was treated with Methotrexate. It is supposed to dissolve the pregnancy tissue from the Fallopian tube and keep the tube intact. Unfortunately, the first dose didn't work and I was given another dose by iv this past Thursday. The drug comes with some fun side effects and I'm also still having pregnancy symptoms - morning sickness, etc. We have been through 4 weeks of this and I am ready for it to be done! Praying the 2nd dose worked and my counts will be down this week. I'm not sure where we'll go from here. 6 angels - not sure if I want to put myself through this again. We'll see as my desire to have another child is still there.

Thank you to all my friends and family who have been there for us through this! Your support is appreciated and makes dealing with this so much easier. My faith in God has also made this so much easier for me. I know he has a plan for us and our family!

P.S. You'll have to put my music player on pause to listen to it. Its at the bottom of this column.


Kelli said...

I listened to the Little Soul song and it was beautiful. I am sorry you are going through another loss.

Kelli said...

I am sorry you are going through another loss. If I had one wish, it truly would be that no one ever had to suffer another loss again, ever. I listened to Little Soul on a BBC link, and thought it was beautiful.

Aimee said...

So horrible. I'm sorry to hear about this. You're in my thoughts.

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I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

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